Saturday, July 27, 2013
Countdown to Baby - Halfway there!
It's still hard to believe we are here and I am typing this update! We are halfway to Baby Boy Burke's arrival! As of yesterday we are 21 weeks along. The last 21 weeks have been SO MUCH FUN! We have enjoyed everything from that first ultrasound and hearing the heartbeat to telling our family and friends, painting the nursery, buying nursery furniture and even registering! Here are some of the (many) highlights!
- Seeing a positive pregnancy test in my very own hand!! (reaction: disbelief/shock/fear that something will go wrong)
- First visit to Dr. Herrmann - can't yet see baby in the uterus since we are only ~5 weeks along (reaction: more fear and anxiety regarding the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy). We go on progesterone supplements (more fear and anxiety I'll miscarry)
- 2 weeks later with Dr. Herrmann - we have a legit pregnancy!!! Strong heartbeat and baby is in the uterus! AMAZING feeling that we did this all on our own - take that RE who told me I needed to have both tubes removed!!
- 2 weeks later - Everything still looks perfect. Dr. Herrmann offers to see me as often as I would like just to feel good that everything is going well (he is an AMAZING Dr.). Now we can tell our family at our party on Saturday!! Let the planning begin!!
- 8 weeks: our annual Bry-Fry party. We were lucky enough to get everyone (our parents and Brian's family) to our house for brunch before the festivities began. We were on pins and needles waiting to tell everyone! Bryce had a great idea to have 3 envelopes with cards in them. One read "Mandy, next said "Is", and last one "8 weeks Pregnant"!. My mom, mother in law and niece got to read the cards outloud. There were big cheers, tears and the party could finally begin!! The only one missing was Aaron but we were able to get him the message in between beers and bad phone signal at the infield of the Kentucky Derby :) He is thrilled to be an uncle!!
- 4 more weeks - We decided to try and be "normal" and wait the full 4 weeks for our next appointment since there was really no reason to consider me high risk. The appointment went very well and everyone looked happy and healthy. I however need to lower my anxiety before appointments! Before the ultrasound my blood pressure was quite high, back to normal though after the ultrasound!
- Week 13 - It's Facebook Official!! Introduced Baby Burt Reynolds Burke to the world of social media!!
Week 15 - YIKES!!! First day my pants won't button!! Bring on the belly band and elastic waist expanders!!
Week 17 - We have MOVEMENT!!! This week I felt the first movements of Baby Burke - there was no question in my mind that's what they were. After 18 months of paying VERY close attention to my body in predicting ovulation there was no question these were new feelings! I like to call them smurf kicks :)
Week 17 - Next Appointment!! This is the big reveal! Since my Dr. does ultrasounds at EVERY appointment we got to find out the gender this week!! After a few minutes of searching around he had wonderful news :) We are having a BOY! Seriously couldn't be more thrilled. Bryce was CERTAIN it was a girl so was in shock for awhile that he would be having a mini me soon! We got to see Baby do a flip on the screen! Such amazing technology.
- Bought nursery furniture and started our 1st registry at Pottery Barn Kids! I've been drooling over there stuff for so long now - finally.....its MINE!! We got a sweet deal on a crib (on sale) and a floor model dresser on clearance - go us!! Bumpers and crib skirt are also on sale so we got those as well! Mom can officially start the baby quilt! Clock's ticking!! This might be the first baby gift she has ready before baby comes :)
- House Projects!! - Finished landscaping corner behind house, painted guest room, painted guest bathroom, organized basement storage area, painted NURSERY! hung new blinds in nursery, installed new carpet in upstairs bedrooms and bought rocker/recliner for upstairs living room!! PHEW!!!! More organization projects to come!!
- Gotta get our social activities in!! - Weddings in Ursa St. Louis and Phoenix, LOTS of Cardinal Baseball, Ozarks, Memorial Day in Madison, WI, Kenny Chesney, Boy Band a Palooza, Best Friend Visit in St. Louis for 4th of July, Ursa visit with family and much more to come!!
- Started Registries at Buy Buy Baby and Babies R Us - these are a work in progress for the next week or so and I hope to have them done. I tell you that is one overwhelming process! Trying to spread it out a bit so we can enjoy it and not become to tired or frustrated with it! We also ordered our glider - cant wait to see it in 8-12 weeks!
Phew!! That's a busy 21 weeks! It's been such an amazing ride. I can't help but still be nervous that something will go wrong but those feelings get easier all the time. Bingo likes to give me lots of kicks to remind me he is in there and doing fine! We have our "big ultrasound" Monday - can't wait to see our little man again! Thank you for all the kind words and well wishes - we can't wait for everyone to meet our newest family member - I am sure he will be spoiled rotten and I wouldn't have it any other way :)
Love,
Mandy, Bryce, Bingo Burt Reynolds and Russell
Monday, March 18, 2013
Day 0 - Consultation Day!!
For those of you who didn't know, a week and a half ago I had one fabulous Friday! In the morning I got a call from the new doctor's office (Wash U) and found out they could move my appointment up to March 18! That would save us a whole month in IVF timing - LOVE THAT! To top the day off my regular OB gave me a call out of the blue that afternoon to see how I was doing. He had heard I got passed back to Wash U from the doctor he recommended and he wanted to check in on me - feel so incredibly lucky to have him as my doctor! Fast forward to today...it's time for the REAL consultation!
To start things off, I did much better this time around in staying calm cool and collected prior to my appointment. The strategy? Focusing way more on my mental health leading up to this appointment. I invested in some meditation tracks from Circle & Bloom. Now, if you would have told me 3-4 years ago I'd be using meditation to stay grounded I'd have told you thats bat shit crazy. A bunch of voodoo hippie non-sense (that would be my mid-western roots talking). The one I listened to last night was awesome - they have a special version that has a meditation track for each day you are on IVF plus some pre-cycle tracks. It worked great for the anxiety and I woke up ready to tackle this appointment head on! I found out about Circle and Bloom from the IVF support group I found on Facebook. After my first blog so many wonderful people reached out to me via personal message - one of them hooked me into the group and it has been the most wonderful support network ever. I can ask them anything anytime and there is always someone there to answer my questions and support me when I am down. It's been so wonderful having a network of ladies who have been there and so many of them are pregnant!
Back to the appointment. Our appointment was at 9 so Bryce and I decided to head down to the doctors office and grab breakfast down the street. It was a great decision - we were in the area way early and got to have a relaxed breakfast and not be rushing through traffic to get there in time. I also had control of Bryce's arrival time :) The office building, even though its in a busy area, has an easy parking lot right outside the entrance - so far so good! We were about 20 min early but got in after about 15 min in the waiting room. I quickly had my height weight and blood pressure taken and then we sat down in the consult room. The only bad part of our day was the lame medical student who came for our first round of questioning. Seriously the questions he asked were like trying to concieve 101 and he started the meeting with "So, what's up? How's it going?" he ended the meeting with "Welp....I'm no IVF expert but Dr. Ratts is great!". Seriously?? OK...so we still hadn't met our doctor yet so I was willing to give this experience a pass until the entire appointment was over. So we waited....and waited....and waited...
FINALLY our RE was there and she was GREAT. Very knowledgeable, direct, to the point and a very good match for my personality. She walked us through a lot of great information and what to expect for the first round, timing, my medical history, etc. Remember though that we are here for a reason and we know what our fertility troubles are centered around....so here it is.
I have what is known as Hydrosalpinx. I'll post some links below so you can read about it but here is my "idiots version". Hydrosalpinx is when your tubes are closed off due to a previous infection (remember the appendectomy). To start, this will cause you issues with fertility as you need those tubes open to allow sperm and egg to meet - anyone with blocked tubes has to go with IVF...its your only option. Secondly, because I have this condition, during IVF the tubes will fill up with fluid during my cycle - because they are blocked there is nowhere for this fluid to go therefore it is believed that the fluid can move back into the uterus and be very problematic for the embryo unless they are open enough to allow the fluid to get out. The medical community is fairly aligned that this condition causes a decrease in your chances for IVF to work. What there isn't broad agreement on is why it occurs. So what are our options? Well..it depends. Dr. Ratts is going to have my scans (showing the extent of the blockage) to a radiologist in a couple weeks. From there she will recommend either proceeding with IVF or recommend having my tubes removed. Now this problem has come up here and there for the last 6 months and here are the three things I have heard.
1. (Dr .Herrmann) - After my surgery in September he was very happy about his success in opening up my left tube and my right tube partially (HSG, I thought, confirmed this)
2. (Dr. Pineda) - After reviewing my films would have recommended using "aspiration" to remove the fluid build up in my tubes during the IVF procedure and therefore avoiding the removal of my tubes.
3. (Dr. Ratts) - Tubes don't look good, need someone else to look at them but if they aren't open recommends to remove tubes - doesn't agree with the aspiration technique.
So we wait. I Google, Google some more, waste time at work while Googling all the while totally freaking myself out. Here is where we are at.....
Mandy: Emotionally really DON'T want them to take out my tubes. This is based on two things...not wanting them to take my tubes which really shuts down the idea we will ever concieve on our own (I am still holding out for that chance we will get pregnant when our first born is 2 months old and we can say "look what we went through and then it just happened so easily!") and not wanting to delay IVF by 1-2 months. I'd really like to try one round of IVF first (even though I have been reading my chances could be as low as 20% :( This really isn't a rational opinion so luckily we have Bryce :)
Bryce: Need to hear from Radiologist. If there is NO chance we will ever concieve on our own we should have tubes removed first. If there is a SLIGHT chance one little eggy could eventually work its way through my ugly tubes we should go for IVF first. See? Very rational. I'll blog some other time about my opinion that God gives you a partner that will even you out!
These are some of the hardest decisions I've had to make in my life. There isn't one right answer - its about listening to your doctor, your heart and your spouse. Everyone keeps telling me that I am being so strong and they are so proud of me for being open and tackling this head on. Truth is I am scared to death. Petrified this won't work. Terrified I still won't be pregnant at Christmas. On some days, not hopeful at all. I literally can't say those words without getting upset...every time. What I can say is that I have met some of the greatest people through this experience and it has taught me a lot about myself and made me appreciate what I have.
So here is what to expect in the next two months:
~Today: Consultation and blood work for Mandy
~April 1: Cycle Day 1- call doctor for appointment to happen within 8-10 days. We will run some tests (basic blook work and sonograms to measure my uterus). Bryce also has to re-do his lab work sometime in the next few weeks.
~Month of April: First two weeks will be birth control pills and second two weeks will be Lupron injections which essentially put your cycle totally under your doctor's control
~April 18th: 1/2 day IVF Orientation - Bryce gets to learn how to give me shots!! Now.....Bryce has a big problem with needles. He isn't scared but he has a stupid physical reaction to anything blood/needles/IV/etc so hard telling how this will go! I may need my neighbors to give me shots every day :)
~1st week of May - Stimulations (warning: crazy person ahead!) to make me produce a crazy number of eggs
~Mid May - Egg Retrieval, fertilization and Transfer day!
~Early June - Find out if Baby Burke is on the way!
If we get tubes removed - scratch all of that, schedule the surgery in April and we will see those meds in a couple months!
I keep telling myself I am going to remain positive and hopeful throughout this experience from now on. Until now I try to manage my dissapointment by assuming it won't happen. I am being coached that positivity is the way to go so am trying hard to give that a chance. It's not easy...dissapointment has always been easier for me to handle when expecting the worst.
So here's to the next chapter and all the ups and downs - thank you for being there for me...it has helped in so many ways! Here are a few links to look at if you'd like to know more about Hydrosalpinx.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydrosalpinx
http://www.ivf1.com/hydrosalpinx-infertility-IVF/
http://www.asrm.org/uploadedFiles/ASRM_Content/News_and_Publications/Practice_Guidelines/Committee_Opinions/Salpingectomy_for_hydrosalpinx(1).pdf
To start things off, I did much better this time around in staying calm cool and collected prior to my appointment. The strategy? Focusing way more on my mental health leading up to this appointment. I invested in some meditation tracks from Circle & Bloom. Now, if you would have told me 3-4 years ago I'd be using meditation to stay grounded I'd have told you thats bat shit crazy. A bunch of voodoo hippie non-sense (that would be my mid-western roots talking). The one I listened to last night was awesome - they have a special version that has a meditation track for each day you are on IVF plus some pre-cycle tracks. It worked great for the anxiety and I woke up ready to tackle this appointment head on! I found out about Circle and Bloom from the IVF support group I found on Facebook. After my first blog so many wonderful people reached out to me via personal message - one of them hooked me into the group and it has been the most wonderful support network ever. I can ask them anything anytime and there is always someone there to answer my questions and support me when I am down. It's been so wonderful having a network of ladies who have been there and so many of them are pregnant!
Back to the appointment. Our appointment was at 9 so Bryce and I decided to head down to the doctors office and grab breakfast down the street. It was a great decision - we were in the area way early and got to have a relaxed breakfast and not be rushing through traffic to get there in time. I also had control of Bryce's arrival time :) The office building, even though its in a busy area, has an easy parking lot right outside the entrance - so far so good! We were about 20 min early but got in after about 15 min in the waiting room. I quickly had my height weight and blood pressure taken and then we sat down in the consult room. The only bad part of our day was the lame medical student who came for our first round of questioning. Seriously the questions he asked were like trying to concieve 101 and he started the meeting with "So, what's up? How's it going?" he ended the meeting with "Welp....I'm no IVF expert but Dr. Ratts is great!". Seriously?? OK...so we still hadn't met our doctor yet so I was willing to give this experience a pass until the entire appointment was over. So we waited....and waited....and waited...
FINALLY our RE was there and she was GREAT. Very knowledgeable, direct, to the point and a very good match for my personality. She walked us through a lot of great information and what to expect for the first round, timing, my medical history, etc. Remember though that we are here for a reason and we know what our fertility troubles are centered around....so here it is.
I have what is known as Hydrosalpinx. I'll post some links below so you can read about it but here is my "idiots version". Hydrosalpinx is when your tubes are closed off due to a previous infection (remember the appendectomy). To start, this will cause you issues with fertility as you need those tubes open to allow sperm and egg to meet - anyone with blocked tubes has to go with IVF...its your only option. Secondly, because I have this condition, during IVF the tubes will fill up with fluid during my cycle - because they are blocked there is nowhere for this fluid to go therefore it is believed that the fluid can move back into the uterus and be very problematic for the embryo unless they are open enough to allow the fluid to get out. The medical community is fairly aligned that this condition causes a decrease in your chances for IVF to work. What there isn't broad agreement on is why it occurs. So what are our options? Well..it depends. Dr. Ratts is going to have my scans (showing the extent of the blockage) to a radiologist in a couple weeks. From there she will recommend either proceeding with IVF or recommend having my tubes removed. Now this problem has come up here and there for the last 6 months and here are the three things I have heard.
1. (Dr .Herrmann) - After my surgery in September he was very happy about his success in opening up my left tube and my right tube partially (HSG, I thought, confirmed this)
2. (Dr. Pineda) - After reviewing my films would have recommended using "aspiration" to remove the fluid build up in my tubes during the IVF procedure and therefore avoiding the removal of my tubes.
3. (Dr. Ratts) - Tubes don't look good, need someone else to look at them but if they aren't open recommends to remove tubes - doesn't agree with the aspiration technique.
So we wait. I Google, Google some more, waste time at work while Googling all the while totally freaking myself out. Here is where we are at.....
Mandy: Emotionally really DON'T want them to take out my tubes. This is based on two things...not wanting them to take my tubes which really shuts down the idea we will ever concieve on our own (I am still holding out for that chance we will get pregnant when our first born is 2 months old and we can say "look what we went through and then it just happened so easily!") and not wanting to delay IVF by 1-2 months. I'd really like to try one round of IVF first (even though I have been reading my chances could be as low as 20% :( This really isn't a rational opinion so luckily we have Bryce :)
Bryce: Need to hear from Radiologist. If there is NO chance we will ever concieve on our own we should have tubes removed first. If there is a SLIGHT chance one little eggy could eventually work its way through my ugly tubes we should go for IVF first. See? Very rational. I'll blog some other time about my opinion that God gives you a partner that will even you out!
These are some of the hardest decisions I've had to make in my life. There isn't one right answer - its about listening to your doctor, your heart and your spouse. Everyone keeps telling me that I am being so strong and they are so proud of me for being open and tackling this head on. Truth is I am scared to death. Petrified this won't work. Terrified I still won't be pregnant at Christmas. On some days, not hopeful at all. I literally can't say those words without getting upset...every time. What I can say is that I have met some of the greatest people through this experience and it has taught me a lot about myself and made me appreciate what I have.
So here is what to expect in the next two months:
~Today: Consultation and blood work for Mandy
~April 1: Cycle Day 1- call doctor for appointment to happen within 8-10 days. We will run some tests (basic blook work and sonograms to measure my uterus). Bryce also has to re-do his lab work sometime in the next few weeks.
~Month of April: First two weeks will be birth control pills and second two weeks will be Lupron injections which essentially put your cycle totally under your doctor's control
~April 18th: 1/2 day IVF Orientation - Bryce gets to learn how to give me shots!! Now.....Bryce has a big problem with needles. He isn't scared but he has a stupid physical reaction to anything blood/needles/IV/etc so hard telling how this will go! I may need my neighbors to give me shots every day :)
~1st week of May - Stimulations (warning: crazy person ahead!) to make me produce a crazy number of eggs
~Mid May - Egg Retrieval, fertilization and Transfer day!
~Early June - Find out if Baby Burke is on the way!
If we get tubes removed - scratch all of that, schedule the surgery in April and we will see those meds in a couple months!
I keep telling myself I am going to remain positive and hopeful throughout this experience from now on. Until now I try to manage my dissapointment by assuming it won't happen. I am being coached that positivity is the way to go so am trying hard to give that a chance. It's not easy...dissapointment has always been easier for me to handle when expecting the worst.
So here's to the next chapter and all the ups and downs - thank you for being there for me...it has helped in so many ways! Here are a few links to look at if you'd like to know more about Hydrosalpinx.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydrosalpinx
http://www.ivf1.com/hydrosalpinx-infertility-IVF/
http://www.asrm.org/uploadedFiles/ASRM_Content/News_and_Publications/Practice_Guidelines/Committee_Opinions/Salpingectomy_for_hydrosalpinx(1).pdf
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
The First of Many Setbacks
Don't worry...it's not too bad, though if you would have asked me the night of our Dr. appointment with Dr. Pineda I would have told you it was as bad as as it was going to get.....after over three weeks now I feel like I can share :)
So there we were, at our first IVF consultation. We had been waiting a month and a half for the appointment - thats how long it took us to get in. This particular clinic is known around the world - pretty incredible it is here in St. Louis! To say I was a nervous anxious mess is the understatement of the century. I couldn't sit still all day at work let alone think about anything but that appointment at 3! We were meeting at the Dr's office and both hadn't been there before so I gave Bryce VERY specific directions in how to get there, where the office was, etc along with specific direction to be there 15 min early. I had been pouring over the details of the information I had to bring and be prepared with for a month and wasn't going to be late after all that! Well they actually took me a few minutes early and Bryce was a couple minutes late - NO COMMENT! :)
He finally made it and we had a few questions with the nurse. Now...I know my cycles better than anything at this point but I was so nervous I even had trouble answering some of the most simple questions! I was a wreck! From there we got right in with Dr. Pineda - who was a very sweet guy. I could tell he honestly wanted to answer my qeustions and listen to what we had to say. The only problem was he didn't tell me what I wanted to hear...."If you have insurance that covers fertility treatments you shouldn't come to our clinic - you need to go to Wash U"
Excuse me? I'm sorry...I just waited a month and a half for you to tell me that after 15 min of my consultation? It was very hard for me to focus on anything else that was said - I was trying too hard not to burst into tears. You see..I am about as Type A as it gets. Everything is planned, I's are dotted and T's are crossed 25 different times and I am ALWAYS prepared with everything in situations like this but somehow I didn't ask that question? I felt heartbroken and angry with myself. Dr. Pineda did shed some light on some additional things about my condition I hadn't heard before - that there may need to be a special procedure along with my IVF to ensure fluid wasn't building up in my tubes during the procedure - it will be good to know when I meet with my NEW doctor to ensure they can perform the same procedure. Overall he was a very sweet guy and I am sad I don't get to work with him. Essentially their clinic has made a decision to require up front payment from all patients regardless of insurance coverage (I am in the minority that have fertility treatments covered) - he was very clear that he did not want us "playing the insurance game" and hoping to be reimbursed in full. Wash U accepts insurace up front. So that was it...off we went home (after a co-pay of course). I was a mess and Bryce was going to do anything he could to make me comfortable (which that night happened to be Popeyes Chicken and a few glasses of wine...yes I am an emotional eater).
So we start over. I called Wash U the next day and OF COURSE the earliest I could get in was APRIL 8. Good lord a month and a half never felt so long - it might as well have been a year away. One question I asked this time was when I could actually start my IVF cycle - finally some good news. They would start with my next cycle after my appointment which will be late April. At the previous clinic I would have had to wait 2-3 months to work into their schedule. All in all I don't think we lost any time in the grand scheme of things but holy cow was that alot of emotions to get through! I will now be seeing Dr. Valerie Ratts who is part of the Wash U Infertility clinic - they work as a team so there will be 5 doctors reviewing my case and my protocol.
We are back playing the waiting game with lots going on outside of the IVF world. I just got back from a great trip to New York with my neighbor friends, my best friend Tessa is getting married at the end of the month, St. Pattys Day festivities are coming up and this weekend our favorite UNI basketball fans are coming into St. Louis. All things to celebrate and enjoy in the moment. I saw a quote a couple weeks back - "Life is not a destination, it's a journey" It was exactly what I needed to see at the time. This whole process feels like one milestone after another - Beginning of cycle, Middle of Cycle, End of Cycle, next appointment date, etc, etc. I need to keep in mind that while we are going through this there is this thing called life passing us by - and there is alot of great stuff going on there that we don't want to miss!!
So thats the update - sorry for taking so long but it took a while to gain perspective (one that wasn't negative and depressing that is) :) So here's to another month/month and half of injection free freedom!
So there we were, at our first IVF consultation. We had been waiting a month and a half for the appointment - thats how long it took us to get in. This particular clinic is known around the world - pretty incredible it is here in St. Louis! To say I was a nervous anxious mess is the understatement of the century. I couldn't sit still all day at work let alone think about anything but that appointment at 3! We were meeting at the Dr's office and both hadn't been there before so I gave Bryce VERY specific directions in how to get there, where the office was, etc along with specific direction to be there 15 min early. I had been pouring over the details of the information I had to bring and be prepared with for a month and wasn't going to be late after all that! Well they actually took me a few minutes early and Bryce was a couple minutes late - NO COMMENT! :)
He finally made it and we had a few questions with the nurse. Now...I know my cycles better than anything at this point but I was so nervous I even had trouble answering some of the most simple questions! I was a wreck! From there we got right in with Dr. Pineda - who was a very sweet guy. I could tell he honestly wanted to answer my qeustions and listen to what we had to say. The only problem was he didn't tell me what I wanted to hear...."If you have insurance that covers fertility treatments you shouldn't come to our clinic - you need to go to Wash U"
Excuse me? I'm sorry...I just waited a month and a half for you to tell me that after 15 min of my consultation? It was very hard for me to focus on anything else that was said - I was trying too hard not to burst into tears. You see..I am about as Type A as it gets. Everything is planned, I's are dotted and T's are crossed 25 different times and I am ALWAYS prepared with everything in situations like this but somehow I didn't ask that question? I felt heartbroken and angry with myself. Dr. Pineda did shed some light on some additional things about my condition I hadn't heard before - that there may need to be a special procedure along with my IVF to ensure fluid wasn't building up in my tubes during the procedure - it will be good to know when I meet with my NEW doctor to ensure they can perform the same procedure. Overall he was a very sweet guy and I am sad I don't get to work with him. Essentially their clinic has made a decision to require up front payment from all patients regardless of insurance coverage (I am in the minority that have fertility treatments covered) - he was very clear that he did not want us "playing the insurance game" and hoping to be reimbursed in full. Wash U accepts insurace up front. So that was it...off we went home (after a co-pay of course). I was a mess and Bryce was going to do anything he could to make me comfortable (which that night happened to be Popeyes Chicken and a few glasses of wine...yes I am an emotional eater).
So we start over. I called Wash U the next day and OF COURSE the earliest I could get in was APRIL 8. Good lord a month and a half never felt so long - it might as well have been a year away. One question I asked this time was when I could actually start my IVF cycle - finally some good news. They would start with my next cycle after my appointment which will be late April. At the previous clinic I would have had to wait 2-3 months to work into their schedule. All in all I don't think we lost any time in the grand scheme of things but holy cow was that alot of emotions to get through! I will now be seeing Dr. Valerie Ratts who is part of the Wash U Infertility clinic - they work as a team so there will be 5 doctors reviewing my case and my protocol.
We are back playing the waiting game with lots going on outside of the IVF world. I just got back from a great trip to New York with my neighbor friends, my best friend Tessa is getting married at the end of the month, St. Pattys Day festivities are coming up and this weekend our favorite UNI basketball fans are coming into St. Louis. All things to celebrate and enjoy in the moment. I saw a quote a couple weeks back - "Life is not a destination, it's a journey" It was exactly what I needed to see at the time. This whole process feels like one milestone after another - Beginning of cycle, Middle of Cycle, End of Cycle, next appointment date, etc, etc. I need to keep in mind that while we are going through this there is this thing called life passing us by - and there is alot of great stuff going on there that we don't want to miss!!
So thats the update - sorry for taking so long but it took a while to gain perspective (one that wasn't negative and depressing that is) :) So here's to another month/month and half of injection free freedom!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Such a great visual
In preparation for my appointment tomorrow I have been looking online for questions to ask, reading other blogs and trying to get as prepared as possible (I am very type A....there is not a "go with the flow" bone in my body). I found the visual below in the blog of someone I have met through facebook. It very accurately shows alot of the emotions you go through each month - made me laugh. My favorite is staying up way to late researching pregnancy symptoms - totally been there done that. I've been a total crazy person SUPER in tune to every last potential pregnancy symptom every month. It really does make you a crazy person....not to mention the emotional rollercoaster. Thats the part I hate the most - hating to hear yet another pregnancy announcement, people younger than me on their second baby, someone telling me to just relax (I'm sorry but it should be illegal to say that to a couple that is struggling with conceiving), advice that all you really need is more sex (no - actually you only need to have intercourse 1x to get pregnant...sorry!), and the list goes on and on.
Hopefully this graphic won't mean as much to you - which means you haven't had fertility problems. I wouldn't wish this process on anyone but if you have gone through it at least this will give you a chuckle this Sunday evening.
xoxo,
Mandy
The night before our consultation
Tomorrow is the big day! I have a 1:1 with my boss tomorrow and will let her know that I'll be out for part of the afternoon for my consultation. This is a new boss for me but someone I know well and has been a bit of a mentor for me at work over the past couple years. I really think of her as a friend and had confided in her earlier this year about our difficulties in conceiving so I don't have any problem letting her know what I am going through. Just another item on a long list of reasons why I love Monsanto so much.
For the rest of the evening I am going to write down the questions I have for tomorrow's appointment. I am anticipating not actually starting injections for a month or so but am hoping April will be the month - just won't know until tomorrow! At that point we will see what the IVF schedule will be and how we will need to adjust our schedule for the next few months - I am telling you there is NOTHING that is getting in my way :)
Last night we partied with Bryce's hometown of Ursa, IL. Its a party held every other year and the theme for this year was Prom - Forever Young. We had a blast and I try to remind myself that we probalby wouldn't have made it if we had a newborn or were late in my pregnancy. It only works for a minute but its those little things that are what get me through the months and months of no results.
Here's to a successful appointment and the start of something great!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
For the rest of the evening I am going to write down the questions I have for tomorrow's appointment. I am anticipating not actually starting injections for a month or so but am hoping April will be the month - just won't know until tomorrow! At that point we will see what the IVF schedule will be and how we will need to adjust our schedule for the next few months - I am telling you there is NOTHING that is getting in my way :)
Last night we partied with Bryce's hometown of Ursa, IL. Its a party held every other year and the theme for this year was Prom - Forever Young. We had a blast and I try to remind myself that we probalby wouldn't have made it if we had a newborn or were late in my pregnancy. It only works for a minute but its those little things that are what get me through the months and months of no results.
Here's to a successful appointment and the start of something great!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Monday, February 11, 2013
17 months and counting....
I have to admit, my plans for this blog just haven't turned out quite like I expected. A couple years ago I had watched a few of my friends start blogs as they got married and started their families. I loved the idea of posting a creative pregnancy announcement, belly progression pictures and of course hundreds of baby pictures. When the maternal instinct hit me (like a ton of bricks by the way) a couple years ago I knew I wanted to do that as well.
But of course we couldn't just start trying....I had a PLAN. A trip to Italy was absolutely necessary before getting pregnant and before baby. So we went (and you can read all about it by the way on my travel blog I was very proud of :)) and like many couple we planned to start trying to get pregnant immidiately upon return - maybe we could even have a cute little onesie that said "Made in Italy". I mean that myth about kissing under those rocks at Capri...that's gotta work right?? We had several friends get pregnant right away - no way it wouldn't happen for us!
Well, fast forward 17 months we are still here, no baby and I am sipping on a glass on wine as I type this. On Monday Bryce and I will have our first appointment with a reproductive specialist to go over the IVF procedure. 2012 was by far the most emotional and stressful year of my life. Alot of things happened including our struggles to conceive. For most of it I kept our struggles to myself. Internalize, deal with it and carry on...its usually how I handle the tough stuff. Along the way I gradually started sharing our struggles with a few people including some friends on facebook that I connected with regarding similar struggles. After a while I became more comfortable sharing our story with friends and family. I really try not to make it a sob story - I truly don't want anyone to feel sorry for us or look for attention. It truly does just help to talk about it and be able to answer that famous question "why haven't you had kids yet??" honestly. My honest answer now? As soon as God is ready for us to have one.
So here I am, sharing my story with anyone who cares to read it. There are several reasons I want to share:
1. It's an outlet for me - one that I have found to be so helpful over the past few months
2. This is a way to share our story to our friends and family...selfishly so that I don't have to share every details 25 times :)
3. Hopefully someone who is going through a similar situation will read it and be comforted by the fact that they are not some freak of nature who is broken and that there are a lot of women that go through fertility struggles - you are not alone!!
So what is wrong with me?? For those of you who remember when I was ~12 I had a pretty bad case of appendicitis. My appendix ruptured and I was in the hospital for over a week. When I returned home, my parents continued giving me an IV for another few weeks. That little episode resulted in a contusion that for the most part covered both of my falopian tubes and kind of bunched them up so that they weren't open - in fact they were totally blocked. We discovered this through an HSG done late August (yes..1 whole year wasted). I had NO idea this was wrong with me - everything had been totally normal my entire life. I was devastated - devastated really doesn't even begin to describe it. I felt like a failure. The one thing you are put on this earth to do and you can't do it!
The good news is I have a WONDERFUL doctor who I really trust and respect. Within a week I was in surgery and he was able to open up my left tube 100% and the right one 50% (we have really been rooting on my left ovary for a few months now :)). There was hope! Well...4 months and several rounds of Clomid later its still just that...hope.
About a month ago I had a bad day...it just so happen to be New Years Eve. For those of you who have struggled to get pregnant you know what kind of day it was. I was heart broken. Of course I imagine the worst - never having kids, paying a surrogate to carry my child, etc. I made the decision that we weren't messing around anymore! I was going to throw myself into IVF. So here we are, the clinic my doctor recommended is The Infertility Center of St. Louis. I could type an entire blog about how impressive this clinic is. We are very lucky to live so close to such a great clinic and great physicians. My doctor will be Dr. Pineda who my OB recommended.
www.infertile.com
I plan on blogging about my experience as frequently as I am able. I hope and pray that this will be a story our little ones will be able to read one day and know their story. I may or may not post more links to Facebook - so check it out every now and again if you want to keep up with our story. Thank you to everyone who has been with us for the last 17 months. It hasn't been easy but we are so blessed with such wonderful friends and family who have always been able ot lift me up from the hardest days :)
But of course we couldn't just start trying....I had a PLAN. A trip to Italy was absolutely necessary before getting pregnant and before baby. So we went (and you can read all about it by the way on my travel blog I was very proud of :)) and like many couple we planned to start trying to get pregnant immidiately upon return - maybe we could even have a cute little onesie that said "Made in Italy". I mean that myth about kissing under those rocks at Capri...that's gotta work right?? We had several friends get pregnant right away - no way it wouldn't happen for us!
Well, fast forward 17 months we are still here, no baby and I am sipping on a glass on wine as I type this. On Monday Bryce and I will have our first appointment with a reproductive specialist to go over the IVF procedure. 2012 was by far the most emotional and stressful year of my life. Alot of things happened including our struggles to conceive. For most of it I kept our struggles to myself. Internalize, deal with it and carry on...its usually how I handle the tough stuff. Along the way I gradually started sharing our struggles with a few people including some friends on facebook that I connected with regarding similar struggles. After a while I became more comfortable sharing our story with friends and family. I really try not to make it a sob story - I truly don't want anyone to feel sorry for us or look for attention. It truly does just help to talk about it and be able to answer that famous question "why haven't you had kids yet??" honestly. My honest answer now? As soon as God is ready for us to have one.
So here I am, sharing my story with anyone who cares to read it. There are several reasons I want to share:
1. It's an outlet for me - one that I have found to be so helpful over the past few months
2. This is a way to share our story to our friends and family...selfishly so that I don't have to share every details 25 times :)
3. Hopefully someone who is going through a similar situation will read it and be comforted by the fact that they are not some freak of nature who is broken and that there are a lot of women that go through fertility struggles - you are not alone!!
So what is wrong with me?? For those of you who remember when I was ~12 I had a pretty bad case of appendicitis. My appendix ruptured and I was in the hospital for over a week. When I returned home, my parents continued giving me an IV for another few weeks. That little episode resulted in a contusion that for the most part covered both of my falopian tubes and kind of bunched them up so that they weren't open - in fact they were totally blocked. We discovered this through an HSG done late August (yes..1 whole year wasted). I had NO idea this was wrong with me - everything had been totally normal my entire life. I was devastated - devastated really doesn't even begin to describe it. I felt like a failure. The one thing you are put on this earth to do and you can't do it!
The good news is I have a WONDERFUL doctor who I really trust and respect. Within a week I was in surgery and he was able to open up my left tube 100% and the right one 50% (we have really been rooting on my left ovary for a few months now :)). There was hope! Well...4 months and several rounds of Clomid later its still just that...hope.
About a month ago I had a bad day...it just so happen to be New Years Eve. For those of you who have struggled to get pregnant you know what kind of day it was. I was heart broken. Of course I imagine the worst - never having kids, paying a surrogate to carry my child, etc. I made the decision that we weren't messing around anymore! I was going to throw myself into IVF. So here we are, the clinic my doctor recommended is The Infertility Center of St. Louis. I could type an entire blog about how impressive this clinic is. We are very lucky to live so close to such a great clinic and great physicians. My doctor will be Dr. Pineda who my OB recommended.
www.infertile.com
I plan on blogging about my experience as frequently as I am able. I hope and pray that this will be a story our little ones will be able to read one day and know their story. I may or may not post more links to Facebook - so check it out every now and again if you want to keep up with our story. Thank you to everyone who has been with us for the last 17 months. It hasn't been easy but we are so blessed with such wonderful friends and family who have always been able ot lift me up from the hardest days :)
Monday, September 26, 2011
Winery day....Ursa vs. The big city
Well.....it has arrived. Our last day. I have to say it's bitter sweet. Overall we timed this trip perfectly. It's been long enough to get away, have a wonderful time, and just be close enough to that feeling of wanting to be home. We ended today feeling 100% satisfied that we did everything we had our hearts set on. To fully experience Italy you would have to move here full time I think. So, on our last day we did one thing that was very important to us.....visit some wineries!


We started off our day with a drive to Montechino, the city 40 min from Montepulciano that is known for their wine, Brunello. We first tried this wine on our night at Poggerino when our British friend busted out a bottle around 12:30 that was obviously quite expensive. It was love at first taste. In Montechino we first spent some time in the town seeing the sites, touring a castle, and seeing a very cool farming/ ww2 museum...very small but cool to see. From there, our goal was to randomly stop for some wine tasting and purchase some Brunello direct from a winery. We first stopped at a cute, but larger winery along the road. This winery had been there for 100s of years.....not unusual for the area. We had a taste but decided to move on....not the quaint winery we were looking for.

After a few turns we turned down the road of another winery, La Fornace, and were met by a lovely Italian woman who came out when we pulled in and started speaking to us in Italian. We could tell enough that she was saying she couldn't speak English and was going to get someone who did. The farm was so pretty, small, with a cute farmhouse, garden, and an amazing view. She yelled down to Fabio ( we like to refer to him as the Italian Dane S.) :) and then took us down a hill(we were following in blind faith at this point as there was nobody else around). She went to open a barn door and inside were tanks of wine fermenting.....yes! We had found the small, friendly winery we had been looking for! Fabio (no joke on the name) took us around their barn that had fermenting tanks, oak barrels, equipment used to prep the grapes after harvest, etc. This farm only has 9 hectares of grapes, average for the region. They had just finished harvest this past Saturday, in only one day. Take note Strubingers.......corn and beans are NOT the way to go! The farm uses labor provided by an outside agency - labor is from Pakistan. He said it's a similar process we use in the states when hiring seasonal workers from Mexico. We had a nice conversation with Fabio learning about growing grapes and making wine. They have made some interesting process improvements over the last couple of years, by hand sorting the grapes they are able to cut passes through the rows down from 3 to only 1. Hand sorting the grapes happens on a piece of machine with a shake table.....just like in our seed plants!

After our lesson in the barn we went into the farm house tasting room. There Fabio (Italian Dane) served us Brunello, Brunello Riserva, Rosso, and Grappa! We also had some bread from his mama for olive oil tasting. To get the bread he just had to yell out the door for mama......in an Italian accent.....LOVE it! We had a really great talk with Fabio and learned alot about growing grapes in the area. The wineries in the region use a coop for the crushing machine which can cost up to 3 million euros to purchase.....this fact would come to life at the next winery we would visit. With such great conversation and great wine, we felt compelled to stock up. With reasonable shipping prices, Fabio will be sending 6 bottles to Lewiston dr in the near future. With that, we were off. We had a drive back to Montepulciano and an appointment at another winery at 4:30. Ciao La Fornace!
Our second winery of the day came with an appointment for the tour. It is just outside of Montepulciano and only 5 min from where we are staying. We drove up and immediately saw it was different from Fabio's world. Again, beautiful scenery and rolling hills with grape vines, but this time with a very modern looking building and landscape. I Cario is the name of the winery and it is a much more commercial establishment. We walked in the front door to what looked like a museum. It was! They have a very fancy place above their wine cellar for at exhibitions. On display at the moment was a collection meant to look like Monet 's Water Lilys but with plastic bags in a river........OK said the non artsy people from St. Louis :). The accountant from the front office took us on a tour. We saw many big fancy tanks for fermenting, a bottling machine, labeling machine, fancy oak barrel room below the art gallery with a glass ceiling. All very fancy to our friends at La Fornace. highlight for the tour,.......after walking past the barrel room.....I walked out to see grapes being harvested!!! Ok.....harvest happens in one day out of the year....how lucky are we! I will post pictures.....so cool! The workers picked out a bunch for us to try....they were very sweet and tasty to my surprise! We watched the berries being pumped to the ferment tanks in awe......it was just the coolest thing to see for wine lovers and ag lovers.....wine being harvested! We moved onto tasting and bought a Montepulciano Noble.....the wine of the area. While it was very cool to see the other end of the spectrum.......our tour just wasn't as charming as out time spent with Fabio :). Interesting fact about this winery......it has only been making wine since 2000. The owners own it as a hobby and have other careers in Rome. People....this is a VERy expensive hobby.....they spared no expense and bought the absolute fanciest everything. The original farm house is still there but is rented out as a villa.....no Italian mama there with fresh baked bread!



We are rounding out our night with dinner at the place we ate at the first night here......such amazing food and service. We leave early to catch a flight at 11:30 from Rome. It's been an amazing trip and we are looking forward to one more night of the food and wine before we make our way home,....it feels complete and I'm ready to see my baby! (Russell)
Ciao,
Mandy

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
We started off our day with a drive to Montechino, the city 40 min from Montepulciano that is known for their wine, Brunello. We first tried this wine on our night at Poggerino when our British friend busted out a bottle around 12:30 that was obviously quite expensive. It was love at first taste. In Montechino we first spent some time in the town seeing the sites, touring a castle, and seeing a very cool farming/ ww2 museum...very small but cool to see. From there, our goal was to randomly stop for some wine tasting and purchase some Brunello direct from a winery. We first stopped at a cute, but larger winery along the road. This winery had been there for 100s of years.....not unusual for the area. We had a taste but decided to move on....not the quaint winery we were looking for.
After a few turns we turned down the road of another winery, La Fornace, and were met by a lovely Italian woman who came out when we pulled in and started speaking to us in Italian. We could tell enough that she was saying she couldn't speak English and was going to get someone who did. The farm was so pretty, small, with a cute farmhouse, garden, and an amazing view. She yelled down to Fabio ( we like to refer to him as the Italian Dane S.) :) and then took us down a hill(we were following in blind faith at this point as there was nobody else around). She went to open a barn door and inside were tanks of wine fermenting.....yes! We had found the small, friendly winery we had been looking for! Fabio (no joke on the name) took us around their barn that had fermenting tanks, oak barrels, equipment used to prep the grapes after harvest, etc. This farm only has 9 hectares of grapes, average for the region. They had just finished harvest this past Saturday, in only one day. Take note Strubingers.......corn and beans are NOT the way to go! The farm uses labor provided by an outside agency - labor is from Pakistan. He said it's a similar process we use in the states when hiring seasonal workers from Mexico. We had a nice conversation with Fabio learning about growing grapes and making wine. They have made some interesting process improvements over the last couple of years, by hand sorting the grapes they are able to cut passes through the rows down from 3 to only 1. Hand sorting the grapes happens on a piece of machine with a shake table.....just like in our seed plants!
After our lesson in the barn we went into the farm house tasting room. There Fabio (Italian Dane) served us Brunello, Brunello Riserva, Rosso, and Grappa! We also had some bread from his mama for olive oil tasting. To get the bread he just had to yell out the door for mama......in an Italian accent.....LOVE it! We had a really great talk with Fabio and learned alot about growing grapes in the area. The wineries in the region use a coop for the crushing machine which can cost up to 3 million euros to purchase.....this fact would come to life at the next winery we would visit. With such great conversation and great wine, we felt compelled to stock up. With reasonable shipping prices, Fabio will be sending 6 bottles to Lewiston dr in the near future. With that, we were off. We had a drive back to Montepulciano and an appointment at another winery at 4:30. Ciao La Fornace!
Our second winery of the day came with an appointment for the tour. It is just outside of Montepulciano and only 5 min from where we are staying. We drove up and immediately saw it was different from Fabio's world. Again, beautiful scenery and rolling hills with grape vines, but this time with a very modern looking building and landscape. I Cario is the name of the winery and it is a much more commercial establishment. We walked in the front door to what looked like a museum. It was! They have a very fancy place above their wine cellar for at exhibitions. On display at the moment was a collection meant to look like Monet 's Water Lilys but with plastic bags in a river........OK said the non artsy people from St. Louis :). The accountant from the front office took us on a tour. We saw many big fancy tanks for fermenting, a bottling machine, labeling machine, fancy oak barrel room below the art gallery with a glass ceiling. All very fancy to our friends at La Fornace. highlight for the tour,.......after walking past the barrel room.....I walked out to see grapes being harvested!!! Ok.....harvest happens in one day out of the year....how lucky are we! I will post pictures.....so cool! The workers picked out a bunch for us to try....they were very sweet and tasty to my surprise! We watched the berries being pumped to the ferment tanks in awe......it was just the coolest thing to see for wine lovers and ag lovers.....wine being harvested! We moved onto tasting and bought a Montepulciano Noble.....the wine of the area. While it was very cool to see the other end of the spectrum.......our tour just wasn't as charming as out time spent with Fabio :). Interesting fact about this winery......it has only been making wine since 2000. The owners own it as a hobby and have other careers in Rome. People....this is a VERy expensive hobby.....they spared no expense and bought the absolute fanciest everything. The original farm house is still there but is rented out as a villa.....no Italian mama there with fresh baked bread!
We are rounding out our night with dinner at the place we ate at the first night here......such amazing food and service. We leave early to catch a flight at 11:30 from Rome. It's been an amazing trip and we are looking forward to one more night of the food and wine before we make our way home,....it feels complete and I'm ready to see my baby! (Russell)
Ciao,
Mandy
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:Montechino, Montepulciano
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)